Patience is different from many of the virtues we desire to bring into our lives because of how we obtain it. We cannot choose to be patient; we simply are, or we're not. For example, with honesty, we choose to tell the truth when evaluating ourselves or communicating with others. If we fail to be honest, we can correct the situation, admit our wrongs, and tell the truth. However, when we try to manufacture patience, it often involves the suppression of thoughts and feelings. This manipulation of our emotions is unhealthy and contrary to our desire for an authentic lifestyle. What we want is to gain patience through purposeful action. When purpose is driving our actions, we earn a peace and satisfaction in who we are, which renders patience with ourselves, others, and society.
We want patience in our lives for many reasons. Even if we are prepared, doing the right thing, or minding our own business, the uncertainty and chaos of life can create the unexpected. Similarly, when people or events surprises us, if patience is absent, a cascade of thoughts and feelings flows through our mind and body, putting us on the defensive. As our focus turns to protectionism, we lose the capacity to process information through the prism of purpose. This is how a lack of patience can turn an everyday life moment into an unmanageable or painful event.
Another place we need patience is around the life goals we have established for ourselves. As our patience runs out, we have the urge to give up early on what we said we were going to do. When our efforts do not deliver the outcomes we had hoped for, we often convince ourselves we are incapable of achieving our goals. Rather than honestly evaluate why it hasn't worked out, we let the negative emotions generated cause a loss of hope, leading to us giving up far too early and often for the wrong reasons. This loss of patience may come from repeated failure or being told “no” again and again. We may see our neighbor advancing in life faster than us and think their way is better, or we may simply be tired of working so hard. Once thoughts like these create a crack in our desire, the rationale for throwing in the towel gains steam, and our patience for the challenges of life diminishes. From this point, it doesn’t take long before we give up altogether.
Both scenarios hurt our efforts to become who we want to be. Anytime patience is absent, we are most likely failing to make decisions based on principle and purpose. It is okay to get mad at the unexpected or alter our dreams due to lack of progress, but we want these decisions to be based on reality, not emotionally charged beliefs. When things go awry or do not work out as expected, patience is what saves us from ourselves. It allows us to focus on the reality of our actions rather than solely on the outcome. It enables us to respond and make decisions on principle and purpose rather than emotion and rationalization. Patience is what allows us to take a step back, even when uncertainty, stress, and disappointment are their strongest, so we can get an honest answer on what the next right thing to do is.
If we are not acting with patience in situational settings, it is most likely because we have yet to find patience with ourselves. That is, we have yet to find a sense of acceptance and satisfaction in who we are and who we have been. This personal patience is developed by defining and acting on a set of core principles that represent who we want to be. Patience is nothing more than a confidence that the world is working exactly how it is supposed to. We will make mistakes, say things we shouldn't have, and overreact to people and events; it is what human beings do. However, if we are living according to our principles and are satisfied with the direction of our life, we gain the ability to accept outcomes without judgment and to respond with purpose. This is when we know our chosen way of life has blessed us with patience!
Choice Recovery - Addiction Treatment in Mesa
The best addiction treatment in Mesa on an outpatient level is found at Choice Recovery, at least that is what many of our clients say. Choice Recovery is an outpatient addiction treatment center serving Mesa, Gilbert, Chandler and Tempe. We offer morning, evening, and Telehealth IOP and individual counseling. AHCCCS insurance is accepted for addiction treatment services including Mercy Care, Banner University, United Healthcare, AZ Complete and more.
Choice Recovery offers evidence-based addiction treatment at the outpatient level with a focus on intensive outpatient services. Our masters-level clinicians lead group and individual counseling and are supported in assisting clients by our recovery coaches. Outpatient services are offered in the morning, evening and on the weekend. Our telehealth IOP is offered at night as well. For more information about our addiction treatment, please call us at 480-527-0337 or email us at admin@choiceiop.com.
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